JUNE CRITIQUE SESSION
by Joe Strouse
We
held the Monthly Critique Session from 7 to 9 pm on Monday, June
17thth in the Learning Center at Mars Music in Hancock Center.
We heard five songs and had six attendees.
Jim
Tankard brought a tape of his song Intrepid Travelers.
This song was about overcoming obstacles and getting through lifes
journey without excuses or blame. A very good song with distinct
changes between the verses and chorus, both rhythmically and melodically
with great visual references. The group suggested that he provide
a little more show
than tell in the chorus and verses. Good job, Jim!
Chris
Meyer had a CD of his song Sunday Morning, a dreamy
commentary on how things are flowing in his life, especially on
Sunday morning. The warm, dreamy feel of the song, the harmonies
in the chorus and the images flowed well to compliment each other.
Comments included making the song a bit shorter and modifying
the title. Another good song from Chris!
Kay
Powers played Austin, TX, USA on the piano for the
group. This song was inspired by President Bushs press secretary
Karen Hughes impending return to Austin. As always, Kays
songs are filled with impeccable meter, usually perfect rhyme
and vivid images. In spite of it all, we came up with a few minor
suggestions for image tweaking and changes in intro and verse.
Nice, Kay!
Stewart
Moser played Playing Every Day, on a new guitar, for
the group. This song was about being a kid and playing, in different
forms, as he grew up and contained a very clever double entendre
which jumped out in the last verse. The group comments included
some very minor visual word substitution and questions about diction.
Another winner from Stewart!.
Joe
Strouse brought a tape of Get Off The Phone And Drive,
recently inspired by being stuck behind a driver at the intersection
of Parmer and I35 at 7:40 in the morning. This song utilized a
highly repetitive chorus and images in the verses. The group suggested
more verses, more images and slightly changing the rhythm of the
background guitar, but they liked the cheesy organ background
sound.
Our
next critique will be on Monday, July 15, 2002 at the Mars Music
Stores Resource Center. We meet from 7 to 9 pm and encourage
ASG members to bring their works-in-progress and 10-15 copies
of the lyrics. Best of
all, its near the drum practice room and we occasionally
get free rhythmic ideas for songs! What a deal! Seriously though,
guests are always welcome and we hope to see you then!
See you next month.
Click
here for last month's critque
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